So much of our life has involved waiting. Waiting to know what to do with our life. Waiting to know how to do it. Waiting for a plan. Waiting on answers. Waiting for children. Waiting on God.These are my standard questions. Why is God so slow? Why is He wasting this precious time of my life when He could be using it? Even though we don't say it out loud that translates into, "I'm special. I'm a snowflake, no one else is like me" (at least that's what my momma told me). Why doesn't He just do something or at least send a holy light and clearly show me what to do? I'm serving Him. It's the least He could do. Any of these sound familiar? I think I've learned some answers over the years...the hard way, I might add.
God isn't slow--I am. I'm a slow learner. He has used those periods of waiting to teach me a multitude of things. I have learned the process of waiting brings about a deeper faith in God. The type of faith that only comes when you have nothing else to connect to except God. He strips you of all things you can depend on, control and understand. Sounds horrible and it kind of feels that way sometimes. But when He becomes our only source of hope and strength, you are in the best place possible. Then we gain a greater appreciation of God's blessings, His voice and time. We are so much more grateful when things don't come easy. Sounds like fun, right? NOOOOOOO! But, it leads me to the next point--the time isn't wasted.
If you are a Christ-follower you need to remember, like I do, it's God's time. "My" life is not mine, it's Gods. So, if God wants me to "grow up" in my faith so He can use me in a different way then it's His prerogative to do that. Maybe the child God has for us isn't ready yet, maybe we aren't ready yet. Consider the waiting your training. Training for a new assignment or a continuation of the job He already has you doing. Regardless, it's a reminder that God is sovereign, I am not. His ways are perfect, mine are not. God's plan is best, mine is not. This is the problem with the impatience of my second line of questioning, it's all about me and not about God. It's about what I think is best, not what God thinks is best. This is so obviously backward when we say it out loud but our minds twist it and our culture shapes it into a common, rational and valid question.
Ok, so what about the holy light? What's wrong with Him just clearly telling us what to do? It completly eliminates the need for us to listen and recognize God's voice when He speaks. The only way this happens is through a close and intentional relationship with God and time in His Word. If God just tells us what to do, we no longer pursue Him, we don't read the Bible and we don't talk to Him. A closer relationship with God is what is best for us. So, why don't we take advantage of those opportunities to draw closer to Him? I know! I know the answer!!
It's because we think we have something to offer God. We don't. We are a tool God chooses to use. Don't get me wrong. We ARE snowflakes. We ARE special. We are God's beautiful creation and masterpiece, but when the masterpiece begins to think they know better than the Creator there's a problem. Let me tell you, this is not an obvious thing. It took me forever to recognize because it began from a place of what I thought was humility. In reality it was really pride in camouflage.
So, for those of you waiting...take advantage of the waiting, don't try to take control of it (says the control freak). Recognize waiting as part of God's purpose and plan, not an intermission until your life gets on track.
James 1:3-4 "For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow, so let it grow, for when endurance is fully developed you will be strong in character and ready for anything."
I pray that as we grow through the waiting, we will be prepared for the child God brings us, our children will become more prepared for the changes that will occur and our family will be ready for anything.
Adoption update: We are still on the waiting list. We are in the process up updating our homestudy. We are continuing to fundraise and currently have tshirts for sale! They are a new color, have different art and more styles available, including short and long-sleeved, hoodies and kid's sizes. Go here to check it out!
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