1. Your children will fill your heart. The sweet "I love you." The little arms wrapped around you tight as they say "you're the best mommy EVER!" The precious notes and drawings they make for you. Their adorable faces as they look up at you and smile because in that moment you are the most amazing person in the world to them. Those precious children so gingerly touch your very soul. Tenderly, they cup your heart in their sweet tiny hands. Then, they squeeze their fingers around it, yank it out and stomp on it. Yep, those tiny babies are going to grow into little people (and eventually big people) that have the capacity to hurt you with huge horrible lies about... fingernail polish. Don't laugh, it's true. This leads me to #2.
2. Your children will break your heart. Ok, so it's just fingernail polish, but it hurt. I feel for the parents who are struggling with bigger fish than fingernail polish. That will be me one day too. But, as I told the girls tonight, it wasn't the fingernail polish, it was the fact they lied and I couldn't trust them. I love them--the lie hurt.
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| but, they are so darn cute... |
4. Your children are a lot of work. They love tiny scraps of paper and collect those precious treasures... everywhere. They require chauffeur services (also known as Mom or Dad), homework assistance, regular cleaning and general maintenance. They require additional time, thought and energy from you.
5. Being a parent starts before the kid arrives and never ends. As my friends who are pregnant can attest, sleepless nights aren't just when the baby arrives. Between heartburn, just being uncomfortable and needing to go to the bathroom every five seconds, it's hard to sleep. As any adoptive or foster parents can confirm, paperwork, extra appointments, and becoming best friends with the local mail service guy because you mail time sensitive documents every couple weeks can start years before you may even have a name or a picture. As my Mom and Dad can tell you, after you're grown parents continue to worry. They still love it when you show them affection and they will always be there for you! Parenting is a lifetime commitment.
6. Kids are expensive. I was reminded of this when I was unsuccessfully cleaning fingernail polish out of carpet last night. This reminder was in my face today as we paid homestudy fees today for "our new kid" (as Chlo says). Adoption fees are expensive, but when your child arrives (whether through adoption or biologically) there are zoo passes, soccer, dance, swim team, cheerleading, basketball and football teams. Don't forget the pricey teen years. Did I mention college?
7. Your children influence your friendships. Yep, there comes a day when the influence of a friend's child isn't positive for your child. That conversation is not an easy one and may affect your friendship. Or maybe you find awesome friends through your child's relationships--friends you may never have known if your kids didn't hit it off!
8. Your child is not a mini you and your child is not your best friend. Yes, it is fun to think and say. I've even said it, but I'm quickly reminded they have their own ideas and opinions! What? Who signed up for that? Also, your best friend doesn't discipline you like you have to discipline your child and if they do, it's creepy--get out of that relationship. Your child is not good best friend material. They are selfish because they haven't learned not to be yet. Your child needs a loving mommy long before they need a best friend. They need to learn how to get along with others via parental discipline, not parental friendship.
9. Recognize your job is to direct your child to Jesus. This can happen through discipline or showing grace. Maybe it's simply reading the Bible together. Just making Jesus an open topic in your home creates opportunity for discussion and learning for you and your child. You don't have to know everything. Learn together!
10. Children are a blessing from God and they are worth every second. Children teach you to be selfless. They teach you that the world doesn't revolve around you. They open your eyes to a love that gives you the tiniest glimpse of what our Father in heaven feels for us. They show you how it hurts when they disobey you and help you see a fraction of the pain God feels when He sees us sin and live in our broken world. The daily work of parenting, while difficult, is far outweighed by the joys, personal growth and light they shed on the depth of God's great love for us.
This is not an exhaustive list of parenting reminders, it's just what I thought of in the course of a few hours last night when they really challenged me. Kids need to know parents mess up. They need to hear you are sorry. I had to say that last night. Parents, some seasons of parenting are certainly harder than others and some days of potty training feel like they will NEVER end. Try to remember it's a season and it will be OK.
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