I am Mama!

Our faces every time we talk to Little B.

Mama!!! 

Skype opened. Our faces were on the screen and that was the first word exclaimed out of Little B's mouth, accompanied by one huge smile! Whether he knows what a Mama is or not, he knows I am Mama. That was blessing #1.

Blessing #2 quickly followed when both the girls looked at me with wide eyes and even BIGGER smiles. They said with excitement, "Mommy! He knows who you are! He knows you're his Mama!" Anyone with more than one child can relate to the fears parents face when adding another sibling to the fam. You are scared. Scared they won't understand, scared they will be jealous and scared they will feel less loved. Adding to our family is scary because it's comfortable the way things are. The girls are fairly obedient and basically take care of themselves, except when appeasing my need to feel important. There are new dynamics coming and it's not a baby that grows with the family and my kids aren't little enough to not consider the coming changes. We've already started those conversations. I'm sure they will get jealous more than once, they get jealous of each other, but their joy expanded my joy this morning.

Yesterday, Violet asked if she had to participate the entire Skype call because, in her words, "it's a little boring." I try to keep in mind, she is only 7. In her defense, Little B doesn't always interact directly with us. If we say "cat" or "dog" in Bulgarian, he gets excited and immediately looks out the window for one. Considering those are two of the four words we and he know how to say in Bulgarian they are said quite bit. I had told her yes, she could go do something else when she got bored. I just wanted her to try to interact a little and let him see her. Kev and I could just watch him be cute for a long time, but that's not so fun for a 7 year old.

Today, Violet sat for most of the call trying to play little games with Little B, got bored, and when she came back later she continued to show him cars, dogs and cats. He was being tickled by the lady Skyping with us and we were watching and talking about when we might travel to pick him up. Violet leaned back against me and quietly asked, "Can we go with you to pick him up?" That was Blessing #3. 

I've been praying for Violet's heart. It's going to be hard. She is the baby and when I say that, I mean SHE is the baby of the family. She has struggled the most with this process floating between excitement of a new sibling and being a big sister to fears of being displaced. Chloe has asked repeatedly to go with us on our pick up trip, Violet never has. She is not excited about us being gone at all, but that has been her primary concern. Today, there was a switch and I could see it in her sweet face as she watched his precious little face. I know it will still be hard and she will still have a hard time, but today I saw hope.

None of us can believe we are almost through the waiting process. It's been the norm for so long. It's not the end, because coming home will bring a whole new set of challenges to wade through. In most ways, coming home is the beginning. Still, none of us can wrap our heads around the idea in a few months we will have a new two year old little man in our house. What on earth will that be like? How will he respond? How will WE respond? Chloe asked today if he will cry when we leave the orphanage. I told her I didn't know, but it wouldn't surprise me. That is his home and they are his family. It is all he has known since his birth. An orphanage is not ideal, but it's something. I'm thankful to his mom for allowing him to be born, taking him to a safe place and making what had to be one of the hardest choices of her life. Finally, she gifted him with his name and we will keep it to honor her and his identity. He will know us and we will be his family, but this is a small way to help him to be connected to his biological mother and family. 

Sweet friends in their new shirts!

Here we are waiting again. Our agency has applied for his DS260 which completes his visa application. It is sent to the US Embassy in Sofia and they issue their approval called Article 5. When that happens our file is submitted to the MOJ for approval. Once the MOJ approves, the file is submitted to court for their final review and issuing of a court date. Court is when he becomes our child and Vesta will represent us at court. Shortly after court we will hopefully get travel dates.

Pray with us that we have court in July! The court system in Bulgaria shuts down for the entire month of August for holiday. If we have court in July, we could travel as early as August or September. We are ready to get our boy home! 

Thanks again to all those that helped with our T-shirt fundraiser! We would love to see pics of you all in your shirts! Please text them to me or post them on social media and tag me or #teamlayne.