Day 10

Ciao Ciao Bulgaria!

Today was sad leaving Sofia. We left the place we met our son. Where the first moments, memories and experiences happened. First steps, first words, first dinner out, first kisses, first hugs and the first time God gave us a son. 

We’ve always been able to take our children back to their firsts. While we were visiting Knoxville recently, we drove by the house we lived in when we had Chloe. I showed her the the first place we had dinner out. We have and can easily do that with Violet. Maybe one day we can do that with Bozi. 

We got through the airport in Sofia. There were no big questions. No desire to see our paperwork. We just checked in. Once we got on the plane the initial part was fun. Bozi was exploring everything, the girls were back to being Australian strangers who sat in the seats across from us and Kev and I were sitting with Bozi. I looked at his face and then at Kev, he had just told Chloe to wave at her brother. It sunk in on a deeper level—he’s ours. That’s my son! Kev has said "son" repeatedly and I haven’t. I haven’t avoided that word intentionally, it just hasn’t come out. First off, I don’t say the word “son” normally, it’s not my style, but i realized this is

World travelers!

my little boy. And he is one cute sweet little boy. 

I looked at Kev and said, “he’s really ours.” I don’t know why I’m surprised. We’ve signed everything there is to sign and had him with us 10 days.  I have to admit it’s a little weird, much like when I had the girls and looked at them for the first time.  Even though we spent four years pursing this adoption, since we've had a name and face (the last 5 months), I held myself at a distance. Things happen, adoptions fall through, children have even died waiting to come home. This has happened to several friends of mine. Adoption is hard, period. 

We had a sweet tender moment and then I felt something wet in my lap. Bye sweetness! No more than twenty minutes into the first flight he peed on me. Just my luck. I had put his diaper on in a hurry and I bet it didn’t cover everything well. Fortunately, I had packed appropriately and if it had to be anything I’m glad it was pee. At least pee is sterile. 

Side note to traveling parents: Amsterdam is an awesome airport and KLM's flight attendants were amazing as well. They were so helpful. The 8 1/2 hour flight to DC was long, but Bozi did pretty well. Bozi was interested in everything except his headphones and the TV. Sooo, there was a lot of entertaining, random eating, games and he fortunately fell asleep once. He definitely has some new fans from KLM airlines. They took great care of us and even brought us a little gift of a small stuffed animal ornament and a little card congratulating us on our new addition. Sweet ladies. He loved dinner and ate a ton. What food he didn’t like he set on Chloe’s tray one tiny piece at a time! He’s an annoying little brother already. It was hilarious. 

We sang songs, played with toys and finally he took a nap. I needed the break from a 24/7 attached child. 

Mommy needed this shirt!!!

That one is pretty hard. He is very attached to me. He screams if I leave, put him down, someone else sits in my lap, if I hand him to someone else or put him on the ground. He sometimes does well with Kev if I am not around, but this is the most challenging part. When we get back home I’m pretty sure he’s going to wear me out. I’m also going to have to do some research about handling this and not disrupting the attachment process. I explained to Chlo and V that they are OK walking away and doing their own thing but that’s because they have stability and are secure in our relationship. He doesn’t have that feeling of security yet, and until he develops it he operates out of fear. It’s challenging for the girls because they are used to lots of mommy time and spend lots of time in my lap. This will be an all-around adjustment. Please pray for that part of the process as you think of it. The last hour of the flight was the hardest. He was bored. I didn't have any more snacks and we played "head and shoulders, knees and toes" more than I care to admit. He also was crazy tired. He throws things and one gift I registered for was a Oombee Cube. It's a shape sorter, buuuut the shapes are attached. It was so amazing. He could play with it and even toss the shapes, but they didn't go flying and we didn't lose any.

We got through customs pretty easily. Our NGO had a packet ready for us to give to the people at customs and this immigration guy was awesome. We walked through to baggage claim and got all our stuff. Once again, after all we had gone through to get to this final point, it was just so simple.

Bozi's first time at Chick-fil-a!

On the shuttle back to hotel, the song "Reckless Love" was on the radio. I love this song for several reasons. It reminds me how God pursues us and how we should pursue others. The line from the song, “There’s no mountain you won’t climb up coming after me” specifically reminds me of this adoption, especially the end of it when they had us jumping hoops like circus animals. 

I pray that in our pursuit of God and His plan for our lives we always pursue him the way He pursues us! That is my biggest prayer for Bozi. It’s the reason I’ve been singing the Jesus medley over him that I sang over my girls and my mom sang over me. I want Jesus to fill him and him to follow Jesus with reckless love.