Monday

Bulgaria is known for roses!

I left the curtains open last night so the morning light would wake us up if our 7 alarms did not. 

The light replaced the darkness and blurry confusion from last night. We woke up, repacked our things and headed to the town the little boy lives in. It was several hours to get there. So, we had lots of time to get to know our translator. She was so nice and informative. 

Our impression from our conversation was that she wasn’t sure, but did not believe he had microcephaly. This new potential diagnosis has thrown everyone for a loop. 

The town the orphanage is in is smaller and rural. It’s a pretty town at the bottom of a mountain, but as we passed Nadezhda on the way, the large Roma neighborhood he may be from, you could see the poverty there. 

We pulled up to the orphanage; it is the baby orphanage. They house children up to three or four at the oldest. The orphanage director was on vacation this week, but made a special trip in today to meet us and talk with us about any concerns. 

We met in his office while he discussed the child’s

Beautiful view from coffee shop!

information and the results of his medical tests. He let us know the details of traveling to Sofia for further testing on Thursday. He also told us how to contact the other doctor about his MRI so we could receive the scan of his brain to take to our international pediatrician. He was so polite and made sure to introduce us to the psychologist, two social workers (one from the orphanage and one from the government) and the caregiver who would all be supervising our time with the little boy. 

After we put on hospital booties over our shoes, we went into the playroom to wait. I quickly showed our translator how to use our camera for video. She was so patient with me. Anyone who knows me, knows I’m crazy about photos, videos and cameras. 

They sat us on a little couch in the room and asked us to wait. We were so anxious. Kev even got nervous. How do you prepare to meet your future child? The psychologist and caregiver came in with him attempting to walk between them. It took my breath away. We sat totally frozen and smiling. I wasn’t sure whether I should reach for him, touch him, talk to him, we didn’t even move from the couch until our translator encouraged us to. I’m so thankful for her prompting. 

When they first came in the ladies told us a little about him. They let us know he was strong-willed. It you want something from him or ask him for something he won’t give it to you! I had to laugh. I told them he would fit in our family perfectly. 

Our agency prepared us that all these people would be watching us interact but honestly, I forgot they were there instantly. I could only see him. They told us he just had a new haircut. He was tiny. Beautiful huge brown eyes and the sweetest little brown face. We played with him and gave him his little trucks. He seemed to like the red ones the best. He was uncertain at first, but warmed up to us. 

We gave him his construction Duplos. They were wrapped like a present. First, he played with the ribbon, then with the paper. Kev made a mask out of the paper and the little guy resisted smiling even though you could tell he liked it. I hid him under the wrapping paper and once again he played hard to get, but enjoyed the attention and game. We got lots of sneaky smiles and smirks. He ripped the paper and he smiled again. When he saw it was construction stuff he actually smiled really big. It made my entire day. 

We showed him his blanket with his nickname on it. One of the workers read it which made me happy because I hoped his nickname would be close enough to his given name. He liked slinging it around and swinging it at Kevin. I played hide and seek around the table leg with him and he tried sooo hard not to smile. 

Lunchtime came. They felt it was important to keep him on his normal schedule the first day so we had to say goodbye. They were so surprised he had not wanted to leave yet. They said usually he gets very fussy when he is hungry. They said it was obvious he was having a good time. When the caregiver had to take him for lunch, he threw his head back and cried dramatically until she handed him a Duplo. He immediately stopped crying. Haha, I’m pretty familiar with children who have a little dramatic flair. 

The caregiver walked him out the door to lunch. His tiny unsteady feet and legs took him away from us. 

We were with him maybe a grand total of 75 minutes. We thanked the workers and left for lunch. Over lunch we discussed the schedule for the rest of the week. We will have 4 or so hours in the morning tomorrow and Wednesday. We cannot visit in the afternoon due to the orphanage’s schedule.

Light brings truth and clarity. I was in the darkness last night—scared and sad. The unknown was looming. It was the first day we didn’t get to talk to the girls. I was able to talk to my cousin who always knows exactly how to make me feel better. I love her. She brought light to our situation. She prayed with me, made me laugh and reminded me Who is in control. I received a couple texts and comments on our blog at the perfect time for encouragement. It’s so easy to sit in fear and darkness. 

But, joy comes in the morning.