A Love Letter, Part Three

Dear Sweet Kiddo or Kiddos, 
We can't wait to take you to places like Airlie Gardens.

It's been 1,132 days since we first submitted our application to All God's Children. I get more impatient to see your face(s) show up in my email as each year passes. I am already a helicopter mom, closely circling around my phone at all times ready to pick it up when it rings hearing our agency tell us they’ve found you. I picked a special ringtone for our agency so I know when they call. It reminds me of music that might play in a movie if an angel were to miraculously appear in front of me. I chose that ringtone because “miraculous” and “angelic” are appropriate words to how it will feel when we get THE call. Right now you are a distant dream that we cannot wait to have as a close reality that we can touch and hold.

This is our third letter to you. The plan was to write one yearly at Christmas, but we didn't expect it to take so long. I reread the first letter and second letter. I'm not gonna lie, they are similar but our desires and our heart for you have not changed! Each year I write your letter a month earlier from the last time I wrote to you, I just get excited. This year I moved up two months because I so badly want to talk to you. I know you can't read this now, but you will one day. I want you to know that before we knew your name these were our desires for you. We want you to feel loved and wanted. We want you to know you are chosen. We want you to have hope. You are always on our mind. Last year our paperwork approved us to adopt one child and this year we were able say we could adopt siblings if they are out there. The idea of one child or a set of siblings joining our family gets us so very excited. I am so impatient to see what God has for us all. Every time we’ve mailed adoption-related paperwork off is a celebration, even if it’s just for an apostille. Lately, we have felt closer than ever before to something happening. In times past, you have felt so far away, but for some reason you almost feel tangible now and we still have no idea who you are or how many of you there will be.

Our family moved to a new city and have a new home since last year. This one has a little more space in it, it's perfect for more kiddos. We are getting your room ready. The room is grey and white. Daddy just bought a ceiling fan to put in it. He's trying to prepare our home and get things ready for you. The room is ready to decorate however best fits who you are. I’m trying to wait to start setting things up, but it’s hard. I remind myself I don’t know who you are or how many of you are coming. Patience is not fun. We have the world map puzzle completed and framed with the names of the many amazing people who sponsored puzzle pieces to bring you home, it’s in the closet for now. In all honesty it makes me a little sad whenever I see it. I’m ready to hang it up, but not until I know who you are. We have a world globe in there and your sisters and I often look at it and see how very far away you are from us right now. Your room is right across from your sisters and we even have an additional room available if we need it. We live at the beach now! Where most people vacation we have the blessing to live. We are on the lookout for a swing set to play on for our great backyard and a picnic table that will seat us all. All little things, but all things that include your presence in our family! When we bought our new house, it was bought with you in mind! I walked through the house imagining more children and loving the additional bedroom. You are a conscious part of our present actions and future plans. You are already a part of our family.
Ready to have fun with you!

Your sisters are ready for you. Chloe is particularly impatient. She asks often why it’s taking so long. She comments on how she just wishes we could hurry and find you--I always agree. Violet talks about her great plans for you and is very curious how old you will be. You have a little cousin, named Joseph, we see him often and live close to him. He’s almost two and I can’t help but wonder what age you will be. Maybe he will be a fun playmate.

We pray for you every night. We pray God protects you and helps you find us soon. We pray  We pray you are cared for and loved on. Our friends are praying for you as well and they remind me of that often, bless them. They are praying that we find you soon. As you will learn from us and the story of this process, God’s timing is not always our timing and we are not in control. But God is in control and He loves us and cares for us more than we could ever comprehend. He loves you!

I know this process will be scary. You won’t know us. You won’t speak our language. Our smells, sounds in our home and even our voices will not be familiar. You will be in a new place, with new people, holding a new set of hands, looking at new scenery, eating new food, unable to understand what we are saying, much less all that is happening to you. We will be patient. We will do our best to calm you, reassure you and put you at ease--at least, as much as strangers can do for someone. We will give you time to get to know us and try not rush you. We will protect you. We will provide for you and we will wait for you. We will continue to pray for you. We already love you.

Ready to know you…

Mommy, Daddy, Chloe and Violet