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| This adoptive mommy (the non shaving cream covered one) is one of our adult leaders in our student ministry. She has no idea how much her support means! |
What if you don't know any other adoptive parents? Find them! There are Facebook groups, support groups, church groups, and adoption ministries. Adoption agencies can connect you, you can email people who have adoption blogs (I met a lady that way when she found my blog) or you could just "Emily" them--see them, walk up, introduce yourself and get their number or email (sometimes hugs are involved, we've discussed my hugging problem before). You would be surprised; adoptive families typically are very open to sharing their experiences and many are huggers. :)
If you are considering adoption, in the process of adopting or post-adoption, find some other adoptive mommies and families. Not having those people in your life is like trying get away during the zombie apocalypse with a broken leg. It's possible but it's difficult, painful and then there's the chance the zombies will attack you and you will get buried under a pile of them. Actually, that's pretty similar to the adoption process, except you get buried under paperwork and time instead of mindless zombies trying to hold you down. Not to mention, it's scary, risky and sometimes you feel like it's going to take over your life. Like I said, zombie apocalypse. I cannot express the value and importance of having these people in your life--adoptive mommies, not zombies.
I have many adoptive mommies in my life. The lady in the picture above always stands out. Her adoption process was super tough and a huge step of faith. All I have to do is be around her and I'm encouraged. She has prayed with me through a difficult decision. When I am with her, the seemingly impossible is possible--it's just a matter of time. I truly just feel better when I'm am simply in her presence. Sheri, I'm sorry if I just creeped you out! :) Now you know why I stand so close! Haha!
There is another lady who is a foster mom. She is one of my #1 cheerleaders. She was the first to financially support us in 2014 and completely blew me away with her complete confidence in us and this process. She messages and encourages me. She "likes" all my facebook posts. She comments on them. Her actions remind me I'm not alone.
I have another lady who was a very random connection through a friend at church. She happened to already be in the process of adopting from Bulgaria when we first connected. She randomly texts me, calls me and checks in. She has done this for over a year now and we've only met in person one time. She is a huge source of support!
I have many local adoptive mommies. I have talked through the process with them, consulted about t-shirt logos for fundraisers, complained about paperwork, and sought advice about immigration paperwork. I was fortunate enough to work part-time for an adoptive mommy at her etsy shop L. Perkin while we were in the paperwork phase. She sold men's accessories online. We made bow ties and talked adoption! I was privileged to watch her bring home her second adopted child. All of these moms are right there, willing to help, talk or serve us if necessary.
Then there are a couple ladies I have connected with online through a Facebook page for Bulgarian adoptions. They are all over the country. We have encouraged each other, asked lots of questions, talked about the struggles. I've watched them via Facebook come home with their beautiful children in recent months. They are a few steps ahead of us on this process and are an invaluable source of wisdom and support, especially for situations that are country, culture and even orphanage-specific. In addition to these ladies I actually communicate and check in with, there are a bazillion others on that site and all I have to do is type a question and within minutes people from all over the world speak up in an effort to answer questions and help.
These specific people barely scratch the surface. There are many other adoptive moms who have given me advice over the years, told us the hard stories, and prepared us and guided us through this process. Aside from that, there are the daily supporters (not necessarily those who are adopting) we have in our life who have committed to being with us through this process.
"Thank you God for your adoption of us, for giving us that example. Thank you for rescuing us from a hopeless situation and giving us a hope and a future. Thank you for giving us a name and an inheritance. Thank you for blessing me and Kev with so many people who love and support us. Thank you for allowing them to share this vision and giving them the desire to help us accomplish this task. Thank you for working through your people in simple ways that make big differences. Thank you for the child you have intended for us. Bless him/her and keep him/her safe until you bring us all together. We love you and we trust your timing and plan. Amen."
...that last phrase (about timing) is super hard to say.
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