Tis the Season...

...to be GRATEFUL.

Sooo, lately I have been a bit whiney. I know, it’s not obvious at all (see last 25 posts, haha). I want the rare few who have been privileged to participate in my pity party to know I’m refocusing my heart, thoughts and words.

November 1st kicked off National Adoption Awareness Month. Usually, I use this opportunity to talk tons about adoption. After spending the last month in my mini pit of despair, I decided to spend it a little differently.

Last month, I chose to whine. I chose to put our adoption in front of God, and it was all I could see. I did not see God’s glory. I did not see His provision for me or my family. I couldn’t see past myself and my wants and desires. I believed God did not come through for me. After a spiritual kick in the pants at the Passion Worship Night, God changed my heart.

I am going to be thankful. I constantly take for granted all the many ways I am blessed. Thankfulness easily becomes reduced to an event, limited to a specific holiday, prayer, situation or person. Thankfulness is not an event, it is an permeating attitude or a state of being. That is how I want to live. I want to live with a heart that overflows with gratitude for the many things God has done for me, but, more importantly, gratitude for who HE is.

Several years ago I read an amazing book called One Thousand Gifts. It is soooo good. The author, Ann Voskamp, is super artsy, uses flowery wording, chases the moon barefoot with her camera and that makes this Boho girl enjoy reading it even more. She took her pain and suffering transformed it into a "gift" in a challenging new way. It really changed my outlook. So, I’m going to make a list of "gifts" I am thankful for working backward from 1000…

Just kidding.

Ok, so maybe I’ll start typing and see what happens. On a side note, if you haven’t noticed--I like lists. Disclaimer, this list is not exhaustive.

I am Thankful for...

Kevy. I love him. He takes such good care of me. He finds simple sweet ways to do things he knows I love. He is perfect and annoying all at the same time. He makes life fun. He is challenging and complex, neither of us like things to be easy, so we match up well. He is fun to pick on and I rarely get the opportunity, but that brings me to my next point of thankfulness.

Black Halloween decorative cats. The girls begged for one all season, but this girl doesn’t pay full price. I’m not cheap, I’m practical! ;) Aldi had a clearance on Halloween decor and I grabbed a black cat for my porch next year. I left the cat casually chilling in the floor in our house waiting to be put up with my other Halloween decor. For some reason when Kev walked in it completely freaked him out. So, as any good wife would, I have moved it around the house the past couple of days and put it in all kinds of fun locations. It’s been awesome. I’m pretty sure he hates it. This decoration may not make it until next year. Currently, it’s waiting in the floor beside our bed. I haven’t had this much fun in a while.

Unicorns. I have two of them, named Chloe and Violet. Today is my Chloe's birthday and she had a glow in the dark Unicorn party. My Violet will have a birthday soon and it will be a Unicorn Fairy House party. These sweet girls are full of love, compassion, kisses, squishy hugs, rainbows, fairies, glitter, fluffy clouds, cotton candy, flowers and anything that involves frolicking. I know a few friends that will understand what I’m saying. They love their sibling/siblings to come. Chlo just stomped out of the kitchen saying “Can’t we just get a referral?” Amen sister!

Fun Jewelry. I love it, I’m a sucker for unique jewelry. If I can’t find what I want--I make it. God has a way of bringing fun sweet creative people into my life. I have a friend that is constantly wearing cute jewelry and I finally ask her where she got it. She owns a jewelry shop called JellyFish Tide. She offered to do a fundraiser for us. She makes gorgeous hand stamped jewelry and I will be having a drop-in at my house in a few weeks! Anyone will have the opportunity to order online and have their order shipped if they are not local. She is donating 40% of the party sales to our adoption. Just in time for Christmas too! I am so thankful for her friendship and generosity! Comment below if you want more info, she has a coupon code for those who want to purchase so she can give you free shipping and know the order was placed under our fundraiser.

Crunchy leaves. It's fall. I'm a Tennessee girl and I take my fall leaves seriously. I love the colors of course, but my favorite are the crunchy leaves. I love the sound they make when you slowly step on them. That feeling of slight resistance then complete crushing...that's a little scary sounding, but whatever. I will walk out of my way to step on a single leaf that looks potentially crunchy. Sadly, it's not like Wilmington has a dramatic fall season, but Kev, in his awesomeness, found me a little pile of crunchy leaves outside our church. Yet, another reason I love him.

My cousin. If we are friends on Facebook you’ve seen my post about her. She has been my BFF since birth. God has moved us all over and never in a million years did we expect to ever live again in the same city, much less a mile and a half apart from each other. We get to raise our kiddos together. Even if it’s only for a season, it’s an amazing gift. We get to have the relationship with each other’s children that our mom’s had with each of us. It’s such a blessing.

Yoga pants. They are comfy and easy. All you need is a t-shirt or flannel for casual days or throw on a tunic or dress over it and viola...fancy outfit time. Actually, I’m thankful for Pilates which is the REASON I wear the yoga pants. They really should make Pilates pants... Anyway, Pilates has been an escape for me for the past 5 years or so. In the process, I found a workout I truly love and believe in. I left an amazing instructor in SC that became an even more amazing friend over the time I knew her. She has always challenged me to become certified to teach Pilates. Recently, I have had the opportunity to start the certification program through Club Pilates to become an instructor. I have wanted to do this for years, but different things always got in the way. I’m excited to finally get going on this program. I’m learning new things, making new friends and really enjoying the process. Now, I get to live in yoga pants!

Target. Yes, I said Target. I don’t know why that store is so relaxing and calming. Who doesn’t love wandering through the dollar section and finding cute things? They have the best school/office supplies. Accessories, seriously, have you seen their hats and necklaces? I love looking through all the clothes and shoes. I don’t even have to buy anything to be happy there. Our new Target was lacking one thing, Starbucks. I saw a sign the other day and they just began remodeling to add one. Soon my Target experience will be complete. Wait, wait, I forgot the amazingness of the Cartwheel app and my RedCard if I actually DO buy something. I really should do a commercial for them. I basically just did. Free advertisement. You’re welcome.

Our Adoption. I am thankful for all I have learned through this process. It’s hard to grow without suffering. My suffering has occurred mostly in my head and heart, but it has forced me to trust God in new ways, revealed areas I needed work in and challenged my patience in ways I didn’t think possible. Yes, I am actually thankful for that process. I am stronger because of it.

Jesus. He is the reason we are doing what we are doing. He made the way for us to be adopted into His family. He saved me from myself, fear, anxiety--my many sins. He brings me into a relationship with a Holy God. If that is all I had on my list, it would be enough.

That’s ten. That’s a good start. It doesn’t include everything. It doesn’t talk about the awesomeness of my entire family, the way Violet says "isgusting" instead of "disgusting", Chloe's short high pitched giggle when she's not paying attention and something is funny, the whistle Kev does when he comes home to let us know he's here, the great friends God has given us, our awesome house God dropped in our lap or the many other gifts we enjoy on a daily basis. Some of these things are completely superficial, some are simple and some are so deep I could go on for hours and some are as simple as seeing God in the little tiny pleasures He shares with us. All direct me back to God and His love for me...even Target.

Don’t forget World Adoption Day is THIS Thursday, November 9th! Put a smiley on the palm of your hand with a sharpie, post a photo on social media and use the hashtag #worldadoptionday. Tag us and add the hashtag #teamlayne so we will see the pic!!