Day 2

Daddy love.

The past two days are a blur. I'm shocked I created a coherent post yesterday trying to successfully remember all the events.

Bozi slept with us last night and seemed to do pretty well. He slept all night as far as I can tell. I woke up and was wide awake from about 2-3:30am last night, so if I know you, you were prayed for. He sucks his fingers as a soothing mechanism rather than a thumb or paci. He is so successful at this that his front two teeth are pushed to the side. We all just think it makes him look even cuter. 

This morning Kev was loving on Bozi before we got up and asked what I was going to fix Bozi for breakfast. Ummmm, I never asked the orphanage what he normally eats for breakfast or dinner. I have only seen him eat five meals total and all were puree and lunch. It's that moment when you realize you don't really know your child yet. We had bought eggs at Billa, the grocery store, and I brought oatmeal pouches from home. Last night, we had little success with dinner, but I was hoping it was because he was tired. So, our breakfast menu consisted of eggs, instant oatmeal, apple/banana baby food and bread from the bakery we visited the day before. He ate everything! We realized two things. He does not know how to chew and he will keep eating. They told us at the baby orphanage all the foods for all the ages are pureed. It's just easier to feed all the children that way. 

That's one happy kiddo.

Bozi is definitely caregiver-focused right now and that caregiver is me. He may not know me as mommy yet, but he knows I have been changing his diaper and feeding him primarily. He doesn't want me out of his sight. This is challenging. Chloe was mommy-focused, but that was 8 years ago and at the time she had eighteen months of knowledge that I loved her and wasn't going anywhere. This has led to minor aggressive behaviors toward the girls. He started swatting them away just today. This afternoon Violet sat on my lap briefly and he began crying and needed to be held. This prompted some really important talks with the girls. We have stressed the fact that he is in survival mode and doesn't understand what's happening. We have reminded them how much we love them and what a good job they are doing... and they are. I have talked with both of them privately about how he needs a lot of attention from me to feel secure and emphasized to them how much I love them and this is just a season. They are champs. I think I'm more worried about it than they are.

I rested with him again at naptime. I was exhausted so I needed it too. It is also an effort to remind him he isn't alone until he knows he can trust us. After he woke up he had some seriously cute bedhead, so as usual I took a picture. We played at the apartment a little and then all ventured out to the amazing park after nap. It's gorgeous. It kind of reminds me of Central Park in New York from the perspective there are big open areas and tall buildings around you. It also has the smaller rolling hills I remember climbing in Central Park.

He may or may not have loved this moment.

After playing we walked to the mall. There is a great food court there (not your standard food court cuisine) and Billa (the supermarket) is there, along with many nice stores. The mall is obviously a destination. We needed actual milk, since yesterday I accidentally purchased buttermilk. We wanted to buy his yogurt drink as well, ayran. Whether or not we can get him to drink it is the question. He won't drink out of his 360 sippy cup, out of any cup or a bowl. He's used to drinking out of metal bowls. So, currently, we are trying to figure that out and feeding him lots of wet foods. Fortunately, he likes this yogurt soup called Tarator. It's made of yogurt, water, cucumber, garlic, salt and dill. I like all of those things, but together not so much. Oh and Bulgarian yogurt is not like Greek yogurt or regular yogurt the translation for it is "soured milk" and that is exactly what it tastes like. Sooooo, I'm not a big fan, but Bozi is!!!

Bozi's dinner.

We fortunately found Tarator at one of the food court restaurants, some red lentil stew (it was amazing) and a Bulgarian meatball. That was Bozi's dinner and he ate almost all of it. The girls had KFC and we had a mixture of chicken on a skewer, Shopska salad, Bulgarian meatballs and lots of vegetables. Dinner was so good. The KFC "street boxes" we got for the girls cost about the same as the amazing Bulgarian food we bought for ourselves. There is definitely a price to pay here for familiar American brands!

I was sitting at dinner alone for a minute with Violet and Bozi. I looked at V to remind her how proud I was of her and how much I loved her. I started to speak, but the words didn't come out. I was going to tell her that and remind her that Bozi had over two years of no Mommy. Two years of no one telling him they loved him and hugging him. I was going to stress to her the significance of adoption, how it is the Gospel lived out. I was going to remind her of how God adopted us through Jesus. I was going to teach her so many things that I never got out. All I did was cry. They see a lot of that lately. That's 841 days we missed. It's the reason he rocks back and forth when he needs to calm down or is nervous. He didn't have a Mommy to rock him. These are all things we were prepared for and were educated about. We prepared our girls for Bozi rocking, demonstrating aggressive behaviors, sleep problems, and disapproving looks from strangers because adoption of a Roma child is not a "good" thing in some Bulgarians' eyes. They were ready, but I was not. Experiencing the reality of this and the deep sorrow that comes with the knowledge of it when I hold my little boy, I could never have been adequately prepared. It swept over me and my sweet seven-year-old comforted me with a good story about a bunny. Kev and I pray daily on the way to school with the girls that they will have the opportunity to "be Jesus" to a friend or their teacher, and today Violet did that for me.

Being really awesome big sisters!

Bozi is a lucky boy. Not because of us, but he has two sisters that love him so much it's going to be annoying. I heard them whispering last night in their room. They can't stop talking about how cute he is. They beg to change his diapers (blows my mind), I ask them to wait at least until we get home just to establish attachment. They beg to push his stroller. They beg to carry him, sit by him, feed him, change his clothes. More importantly they try to comfort him when he rocks if I can't get to him fast enough and it's only Day 2.