Waiting on the unexpected is totally easy, right?

Everyone loves a good Monty Python reference!

Wrong! At least it's wrong to me. I know why I have issues with this statement... Who knows, maybe you guys will agree with me.

#1: I lack trust in God.
#2: I'm a worrier (refer back to #1).

Ok, so I really just have one problem with waiting, but it's a big one! I can pretty much always follow a "not so cute" bunny trail of worries, stress and doubt back to a lack of trust in God. When in reality, I need to run away from those bunny trails and simply trust in the Author and Creator of all life.

You say, "Emily, you're a pastor's wife, you've been a believer for years, you've seen God at work in so many cool ways." Yes, yes, and yes. But, I am human, flawed and sinful. I'm not saying I'm a horrible person. I am saying that I, like many others out there, I am not perfect and I do not have it all together all the time.

Our family is close to being on the waiting list for an orphaned Bulgarian child. We are all so excited. We know this is what God wants, and it is what we want! We will probably be waiting for a while, but the unexpected is so nerve-wracking. How long are we gonna have to wait? What will the kiddo be like? Will we know for sure when we get a referral--that this is our kid? How will our girlies do?

I look at my questions and I realize how self-centered most of them are and how I tend to try to remove God's hand from the situation. The same way I'm praying for our biological children, I'm praying for God to prepare our adopted child. So, why don't I trust Him to take care of things?

Any "Bible Drillers" out there? I participated in that competitive Bible verse memorization event when I was a kid... Yep, I was that person, and it was really beneficial. Many of those scriptures from my childhood are drilled (I crack me up!) into my head. Total shoutout to my Daddy who "strongly encouraged" me to participate in the contests. Yes, Daddy, you told me so. :) One of the first verses I had to memorize for a Bible Drill was Proverbs 3:5-6:

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.

Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take."

Two big things I notice in this verse. First, this is instruction for complete trust, not mostly trusting or sometimes trusting, but fully trusting. Second, if we seek God's will in all we do, He will guide us. Not seeking help in some things, when we think we really need help, or asking for help on our hard days, but completely seeking His will daily.

We trust God with our heart, we seek Him with our mind and He guides our actual steps. This verse is so comforting but difficult because God is asking for all of me. This is where the breakdown happens. Our peace, comfort and guidance is there waiting for us but, that requires me to let go of myself, my control, and me being in charge.

The days I worry and stress are the days I'm trying to take over control of my situation and circumstances and not trusting God. Just to be clear, that doesn't mean God's path is easy, but it is perfect and what is best for me.

My prayer as we start this process of waiting on the unexpected is that God will grow my faith in Him and His sovereignty.

On a different note, I want to thank my friend Erin Leyen for doing a Jamberry party for us as a fundraiser. We just started the party, so if you wanna join let me know and I'll connect you on Facebook. Or if you want to order when you follow the Jamberry link you can select Emily's JAM's 4 Adoption before you check out! The biggest blessing is not the money we will receive but the love and support from a friend. We have had many people offer to do things and help us out, and many have already done lots to help. We are continually shown how God is at work.

Our adoption is bigger than our family. It's about God providing through our friends, family and those we don't even know--all to bring glory to Himself!